Monday, February 27, 2017
Poem !! I love you but I have decided to leave
I love you but I have decided to leave
living with your love became so impossible
I will let the memories erase this passionate beautiful love
you are the breeze of life and the greatest wish of all my dreams
you are the dream that I always wished to come true
I love you but I have decided to leave
Today I ask your sun rays to go down and your shine lite to hide away
today I ask you to leave without saying a love song, blaming word, or even goodbye
If you permit me to leave without burring me under the dust of your grief
Forgive me I can't stand seeing grief or a tear in your eyes, forgive me I cant bare your blame
I love you but I have decided to leave
My great punishment is when your love becomes part of the past, when it becomes part of my mirage and all the doors would be shut after all that.
I have fallen in your love but I decided to leave
my passion has to clam and my nostalgic warmth has to die
And my woozy eyes has to finally sleep
It will be a miracles if you become part of my past
Yes I told you that I love you ! but I just cant make it to pass
Yes I still love you but I have decided to leave
I decided to get out of your horizon, away with my sadness alone who knows I might see you again one day and I will tell you again I still love you but I had decided to leave !
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Vast As The Sky
By the age of 17, I was starting to fall in love with sports as I was discovering my physical strength, which I had been largely unaware of so far. I wanted to take it to the next level by becoming a boxer.
The training was harsh, much harder than I was accustomed to or what I would have expected. A moment of inattention and my trainer would open a hail of hits directed to my face and chest. He left me feeling helpless, desperate, wondering how to react to his blows – after all he was my trainer. Could I dare to focus on hitting him back or should I improve my strategies of defense and better my positions? This insecurity made me hate the boxing lessons and the training and my only focus was when the session would finally end, because all I wanted was for it to be over. I hated losing classes in school and felt like a stranger going back and forth between the training and my class. But most of all, I hated myself for considering giving up and possibly ruining my reputation as an athlete.
Yes, I seriously started to consider withdrawing, but deeply disliked the idea of all these efforts being wasted and having to tell everyone, family, friends, classmates, and teachers about my decision. I felt especially ashamed towards my PE teacher who had enabled me to go that far. How would I be able to face them after such a decision? Telling them, would cause disappointment wherever I go.
While feeling that I was missing out on life, I stayed undecided and kept going. I even fought myself somehow through the preliminaries without particular effort or enthusiasm. Until the day of the finals arrived.
To this day, I remember the moment of shock overwhelming me, seeing the ring close up and gazing at a sea of faces. Their focus is me. Some wishing me bad luck and some are on my side. I avoid responding to those hoping for my loss, but instead keep a smile on my face for everyone to see. Giving a promising look to my coach is trying to ensure him that I absorbed and digested every single instruction and trick that he taught me. I know what is expected of me.
I am climbing inside the ring, facing someone I have never seen before. I hear the bell and see him jumping towards me while I decide immediately to employ one of my most protective techniques, following his every move. Keep moving, keep moving! Here, I see a chance to reach to his face and I place my first blow, repelling him to the back. I let my arms do their work. My fists move back and forth as if they knew how and where to hit my adversary. Our roles have changed, I am the attacker, and he is in defense.
I hear the audience raising their voices in encouragement and slogans. I hear my name. Word travels through distance and I slowly realize that I won the round. I had imagined this moment filled with excitement, even some relief, but it feels nothing like that. Instead there is heavy pressure: I need to continue to preserve my temporary position for the upcoming round!
A few seconds later, we are back in the ring, starting all over, but this time with fewer injuries. I am thinking of my competitor who also received as many blows as me. It still seems even. One unexpected blow, one second of inattention could cause you a lot of damage and injury at this point. I start changing my strategy, as I was instructed. The goal: To achieve the least encounters with the adversary in the second round to preserve my position and energy. With this, I succeed to win the second and third round through points. For the first time, a feeling of relief sets in as my defeat becomes more unlikely and I start to think of a possible victory.
Entering the fourth round, exhaustion is taking its’ toll. Despite my growing feeling of confidence, the question of “how long it is going to last and how far am I able to go” is present every moment. It is tempting to collapse because of endless exhaustion, pain and continuing hits. But there is also this feeling of déjà vue: the experienced pains and blows of my training and the promise of rest when the suffering finally comes to an end. And here it is accompanied by the prospect of a sweet victory that seems to heal up any pain and erase the memory of all hurt and hardship.
The dimensions of time seem to have changed: fraction of seconds feel like minutes. I don’t see anybody but my adversary, my sole focus. I hear but myself, breathing deeply and harshly. Everything else slowly blends out. Any thought, any feeling I might have is connected to this very moment. There are no predictions and no memories. I receive an unexpected blow on my upper lip and as my arms move I realize that I am retaliating with several heavy punches. With a feeling of surprise, I see it happening: him stepping back, struggling to regain his position – he is off! OFF! My punches threw him off balance!
For the first time in my life, I am winning something truly valuable - I am second position at the end of the finals. Winning the silver for the first time in my life, seeing my picture in newspapers and on billboards in the school appears unreal at first. Everybody suddenly seems to know me, even in the most unexpected places. I experience a feeling of responsibility rather than reward. Now, I am obliged to watch for my attitude, behavior, and relationships towards classmates and strangers. Now, they know me and I am not allowed to make mistakes – I am not allowing myself to make mistakes! I want to hold on to this position in every aspect of my life. In the classroom, my perspective changes and I start to prepare for my class rather than waiting for the lessons in class to prepare me. I am not a teenager anymore; I have grown into a rather mature adult.
From now on, I continue to repeat in my mind every single second of the harsh training and the time in the ring. These moments seem to be burned in my memory. They are the ones that made me raise my bar of expectations in life, and taught me how to succeed. Instances that taught me to never withdraw from anything and to stay the course till the end. Reminders of the efforts it takes to get where I want as opposed to just surrendering to momentary feelings, emotions, thoughts, difficulties or obstacles. They become my constant reminder in times of hardship and difficulty.
I was fortunate enough to have this happening at the beginning of my life journey, at an age where all the possibilities still seemed vast as the sky for me. It has formed my life and my achievements ever since.
Thursday, February 9, 2017
Adam and Eve and the guilt and shame complex
How Good Do We Have to Be? by Harold S. Kushner is correctly subtitled ‘A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness’ and this reflects what the author is trying to reveal throughout his book and his conclusions. Rabbi Harold Samuel Kushner is a prominent American Rabbi and a popular author. Kushner has written a series of theological books, some of them best-sellers, about human suffering and the affirmation of life. How Good Do We Have to Be? deals with the re-interpretation of biblical key events and their supposed messages in a Judeo-Christian light. Based on these revisions, the author is trying to develop an alternative view that should enable followers of the two beliefs to rethink their approaches in certain traditionally and historically conflict laden areas of their existence. He then offers an array of solutions on how to live in a more harmonic fashion with those around us that we cherish the most and that at the same time are often in the most complicated relationships with us.
Kushner starts with the story of the rejection of Adam and Eva from paradise. According to him, this story has been radically misinterpreted through the ages as a story of disobedience and divine punishment, he claims. In a Judeo-Christian context, Adam and Eve are severely punished for one single mistake and driven out of paradise as a result. The author concludes that because of holding on to this interpretation through the ages, the believers started to hang on to the illusion that in life they could control events by doing everything right. Moreover, the God in this interpretation was portrait as an unforgivable and cruel God, which as a result prompted generations of parents to treat their children the same way, punish them with rejection, if they failed in the eyes of the parent. This, in Kushner’s opinion laid way to a society that linked guilt to shame and that considered their mistakes a lack or permanent flaw of themselves instead of separating the deed from the doer. He emphasizes that even though the role of the Israelite prophets was to bring the message and guidelines in how to follow the right life-codes, they themselves committed sins and mistakes. However, he concludes, God continued to love them; what he hated was the sin they might have committed, but not the person. Therefore, he deduces that a person does not have to be perfect to be loved, nor should one expect that the people around us are perfect, even or especially those that are most beloved to us. His message is that when you love, you should love the whole person with all their quirks and weaknesses, conscious of their faults. At some point he explains that his experiences as a clergyman and a counselor have taught him “that much of the unhappiness people feel burdened by, much of the guilt, much of the sense of having been cheated by life, stems from one of two related causes: either somewhere along the way, somebody - a parent, a teacher, a religious leader - gave them the message that they were not good enough, and they believed it. Or else they came to expect and need more from the people around them --- their parents, children, husbands, or wives - than those people could realistically deliver....” Consequently it is the unrealistic expectation that we ourselves could be perfect or someone in this world could be perfect that is haunting us in our perception of ourselves and our relations with others. Kushner declares that only if we are ready to forgive ourselves and the ones around us, are we able to become wholly-hearted or tamim (in proper translation ‘complete’) human beings. He also explains to the readers, that the three punishments that resulted from the expulsion from paradise, the labor to earn one’s living, pain and effort of procrastination and mortality, are actually important factors for our live and fulfillment as human beings, who are constantly looking for purpose, love and acceptance, and who need the reminder of time to be the best they can be during the time allotted to them.
I understand that in the concept of the Judeo-Christian traditions, Kushner might have touched on a subject that is important for many: The removal of guilt and shame for imperfections and the adjustment of the idea that God is cruel and chastising. Personally, however, while understanding his concerns and issues, I am having difficulties relating to the problems he is talking about. The interpretation, that Adam and Eve were punished and therefore banned from paradise is not the whole truth – I can't agree with the author here. In the interpretations that I am familiar with as a Muslim, God knows from the moment He creates mankind everything about it. God is omniscient, and therefore a ‘mistake’ from the first created humans is not something that surprises him, makes him angry, or leads him to change the established course, that he has degreed for all humans. In the Qur’an, God introduces the human being to the angels; He has already announced to them, that this being is meant to live on earth. Therefore the angels answer: "Wilt thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood? Whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not." [Al-Quran, 2:30] According to this quote, does he not only know, that His creation will live on earth, but he is even aware that they are going to commit, what is called the ‘first murder on earth’ and many others after that. This does not leave much space for the speculation of a cruel god and therefore, in Islam, what is emphasized about God is His Forgiveness and Mercy. He is Merciful enough to care for his creation, their needs on all levels are taken care of and obviously, he practices forgiveness, which has already sufficiently proven by the examples Kushner provided himself concerning the stories of the prophets. He knows about our imperfections from the beginning, and He alone carries the right to be called perfect. How could we ever assume that the creation can surpass or equal the creator? Obviously, in my culture the guilt complex of the original sin does not exist. Therefore, and because the only Perfect One is God, we do not struggle with the assumption, that we have to be perfect in order to be loved or cared for by God or others. We are aware that we are not perfect, but we also believe, that every human carries as a sign of his origin, a soul and a divine nature, in his or her blue print. This causes us to respect every human for what he or she is and we recognize that everyone carries a special blessing in his or her existence as part of a godly creation. When it comes to the difficulties of marriage, the Quran states: “….and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Quran Al-Baqarah:216). This verse is calling us to adopt an attitude of tolerance, wisdom and forgiveness in our relationship, because oftentimes we do not know what is good for us, and a thing that we find unpleasant might be a thing that we need in our life, but we are lacking the wisdom to realize this and vice versa. Basically, this characterizes the way we are supposed to deal with human imperfections. Accepting these flaws into our life and dealing gently with it, as we are called on multiple occasions to treat people around us with kindness and understanding. One example is the tradition of the Prophet Muhammad, who said: “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.” [Hadith-Muslim, #3466].
While becoming aware of the fact that the set of issues Kushner is discussing in his book is of little personal relevance for me, it made me realize, how much social and spiritual impact a misinterpretation of a single event of a scripture can bring onto a society and its members. It is astonishing to observe how the cycle of guilt and shame has been passed on –wrongfully- and how the negativity that is accompanying this interpretation has spread in realms of people’s existence that we would not suspect to be touched to this degree by an event that took place in a different context and has only be looked at so far from one single perspective (until Kushner offered his alternative interpretation).
Although, the author is providing solutions for the issues he is raising, he misses the point from my perspective. I agree that humans look for a purpose in life, but that does not have to be through labor to support themselves, and it is most likely not the generally preferred way to bring purpose to someone’s life. In his examples the author names personalities like J.F. Kennedy and likes, in short people, who are wealthy enough that they do not have to work for their living any more. However, so Kushner argues they go out and work to give purpose to their lives. While I agree that these men or women might be on a pursuit of purpose, I believe even though their doings are efforts, it is not the same as working ‘to earn your bread’. The solution, in my opinion lies not in telling people that live is not that bad, working is an interesting challenge, love is a magical maze and death an elaborate reminder of doing good deeds today and not tomorrow. The solution lies in the research for the true purpose of what is happening to us as human beings, and why we are temporarily on this earth. In my opinion Kushner might eventually succeed to free people from their complexes of guilt and shame, but he fails to offer an answer to this most important question. One might argue that he is writing a self-help category book and that there is little room in this type of book for a discussion outside of the immediate circle of life, but this question cannot be answered without touching on the subject of afterlife. However, experts whose aim is to educate people in how to live their lives in more happiness, naturally have to focus on the life in this world to cater to the needs of those who come to read and benefit from their approaches. Their audiences are those, who -disappointed form theological scriptures and interpretations- are looking for practical life help and therefore the author has to focus on just that: practical life help. Kushner claims at the end, that we are only able to live as whole and complete beings, if we succeed to implement the messages and thoughts he elaborated about and maybe he is right that this could lead to a happier life. Already taking a guilt complex off someone’s shoulders, or providing someone who is struggling with sibling rivalry a deeper insight in the subject should be enough to improve anybody’s life. Nonetheless, a wholly and complete (tamim) life can only be a life of someone who extends his search above and beyond the limits of this life and who willingly accepts the quest of the origin of our innermost identities and the relation between the struggle in this life, our spiritual state and our final destiny.
Kushner starts with the story of the rejection of Adam and Eva from paradise. According to him, this story has been radically misinterpreted through the ages as a story of disobedience and divine punishment, he claims. In a Judeo-Christian context, Adam and Eve are severely punished for one single mistake and driven out of paradise as a result. The author concludes that because of holding on to this interpretation through the ages, the believers started to hang on to the illusion that in life they could control events by doing everything right. Moreover, the God in this interpretation was portrait as an unforgivable and cruel God, which as a result prompted generations of parents to treat their children the same way, punish them with rejection, if they failed in the eyes of the parent. This, in Kushner’s opinion laid way to a society that linked guilt to shame and that considered their mistakes a lack or permanent flaw of themselves instead of separating the deed from the doer. He emphasizes that even though the role of the Israelite prophets was to bring the message and guidelines in how to follow the right life-codes, they themselves committed sins and mistakes. However, he concludes, God continued to love them; what he hated was the sin they might have committed, but not the person. Therefore, he deduces that a person does not have to be perfect to be loved, nor should one expect that the people around us are perfect, even or especially those that are most beloved to us. His message is that when you love, you should love the whole person with all their quirks and weaknesses, conscious of their faults. At some point he explains that his experiences as a clergyman and a counselor have taught him “that much of the unhappiness people feel burdened by, much of the guilt, much of the sense of having been cheated by life, stems from one of two related causes: either somewhere along the way, somebody - a parent, a teacher, a religious leader - gave them the message that they were not good enough, and they believed it. Or else they came to expect and need more from the people around them --- their parents, children, husbands, or wives - than those people could realistically deliver....” Consequently it is the unrealistic expectation that we ourselves could be perfect or someone in this world could be perfect that is haunting us in our perception of ourselves and our relations with others. Kushner declares that only if we are ready to forgive ourselves and the ones around us, are we able to become wholly-hearted or tamim (in proper translation ‘complete’) human beings. He also explains to the readers, that the three punishments that resulted from the expulsion from paradise, the labor to earn one’s living, pain and effort of procrastination and mortality, are actually important factors for our live and fulfillment as human beings, who are constantly looking for purpose, love and acceptance, and who need the reminder of time to be the best they can be during the time allotted to them.
I understand that in the concept of the Judeo-Christian traditions, Kushner might have touched on a subject that is important for many: The removal of guilt and shame for imperfections and the adjustment of the idea that God is cruel and chastising. Personally, however, while understanding his concerns and issues, I am having difficulties relating to the problems he is talking about. The interpretation, that Adam and Eve were punished and therefore banned from paradise is not the whole truth – I can't agree with the author here. In the interpretations that I am familiar with as a Muslim, God knows from the moment He creates mankind everything about it. God is omniscient, and therefore a ‘mistake’ from the first created humans is not something that surprises him, makes him angry, or leads him to change the established course, that he has degreed for all humans. In the Qur’an, God introduces the human being to the angels; He has already announced to them, that this being is meant to live on earth. Therefore the angels answer: "Wilt thou place therein one who will make mischief therein and shed blood? Whilst we do celebrate Thy praises and glorify Thy holy (name)?" He said: "I know what ye know not." [Al-Quran, 2:30] According to this quote, does he not only know, that His creation will live on earth, but he is even aware that they are going to commit, what is called the ‘first murder on earth’ and many others after that. This does not leave much space for the speculation of a cruel god and therefore, in Islam, what is emphasized about God is His Forgiveness and Mercy. He is Merciful enough to care for his creation, their needs on all levels are taken care of and obviously, he practices forgiveness, which has already sufficiently proven by the examples Kushner provided himself concerning the stories of the prophets. He knows about our imperfections from the beginning, and He alone carries the right to be called perfect. How could we ever assume that the creation can surpass or equal the creator? Obviously, in my culture the guilt complex of the original sin does not exist. Therefore, and because the only Perfect One is God, we do not struggle with the assumption, that we have to be perfect in order to be loved or cared for by God or others. We are aware that we are not perfect, but we also believe, that every human carries as a sign of his origin, a soul and a divine nature, in his or her blue print. This causes us to respect every human for what he or she is and we recognize that everyone carries a special blessing in his or her existence as part of a godly creation. When it comes to the difficulties of marriage, the Quran states: “….and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Quran Al-Baqarah:216). This verse is calling us to adopt an attitude of tolerance, wisdom and forgiveness in our relationship, because oftentimes we do not know what is good for us, and a thing that we find unpleasant might be a thing that we need in our life, but we are lacking the wisdom to realize this and vice versa. Basically, this characterizes the way we are supposed to deal with human imperfections. Accepting these flaws into our life and dealing gently with it, as we are called on multiple occasions to treat people around us with kindness and understanding. One example is the tradition of the Prophet Muhammad, who said: “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife.” [Hadith-Muslim, #3466].
While becoming aware of the fact that the set of issues Kushner is discussing in his book is of little personal relevance for me, it made me realize, how much social and spiritual impact a misinterpretation of a single event of a scripture can bring onto a society and its members. It is astonishing to observe how the cycle of guilt and shame has been passed on –wrongfully- and how the negativity that is accompanying this interpretation has spread in realms of people’s existence that we would not suspect to be touched to this degree by an event that took place in a different context and has only be looked at so far from one single perspective (until Kushner offered his alternative interpretation).
Although, the author is providing solutions for the issues he is raising, he misses the point from my perspective. I agree that humans look for a purpose in life, but that does not have to be through labor to support themselves, and it is most likely not the generally preferred way to bring purpose to someone’s life. In his examples the author names personalities like J.F. Kennedy and likes, in short people, who are wealthy enough that they do not have to work for their living any more. However, so Kushner argues they go out and work to give purpose to their lives. While I agree that these men or women might be on a pursuit of purpose, I believe even though their doings are efforts, it is not the same as working ‘to earn your bread’. The solution, in my opinion lies not in telling people that live is not that bad, working is an interesting challenge, love is a magical maze and death an elaborate reminder of doing good deeds today and not tomorrow. The solution lies in the research for the true purpose of what is happening to us as human beings, and why we are temporarily on this earth. In my opinion Kushner might eventually succeed to free people from their complexes of guilt and shame, but he fails to offer an answer to this most important question. One might argue that he is writing a self-help category book and that there is little room in this type of book for a discussion outside of the immediate circle of life, but this question cannot be answered without touching on the subject of afterlife. However, experts whose aim is to educate people in how to live their lives in more happiness, naturally have to focus on the life in this world to cater to the needs of those who come to read and benefit from their approaches. Their audiences are those, who -disappointed form theological scriptures and interpretations- are looking for practical life help and therefore the author has to focus on just that: practical life help. Kushner claims at the end, that we are only able to live as whole and complete beings, if we succeed to implement the messages and thoughts he elaborated about and maybe he is right that this could lead to a happier life. Already taking a guilt complex off someone’s shoulders, or providing someone who is struggling with sibling rivalry a deeper insight in the subject should be enough to improve anybody’s life. Nonetheless, a wholly and complete (tamim) life can only be a life of someone who extends his search above and beyond the limits of this life and who willingly accepts the quest of the origin of our innermost identities and the relation between the struggle in this life, our spiritual state and our final destiny.
The Alchemy of Happiness
Al-Ghazali's Kimiya-yi Sa'aadat, or The Alchemy of Happiness, Book by Al-Gazali as it is known in the English translation, is one of these books that can accompany you during your life and give you a moment of peace and reflection when you need it most. One can easily read it cover to cover, but it can also simply be used as a reminder of various ideas and thoughts that offer a deeper insight into human nature, and ways of improvement when dealing with one’s self and others. To me it has always been an inspiration and a source of reflection about life, its obstacles, and possibilities, its difficulties and goodness.
Al-Ghazali, who is better known in the Western world under the name Algazel, was a mystic for most of his life, besides working as a jurist, Islamic scholar, and philosopher, but towards the end of his life he felt the need to emphasize his position and share the deep insights he had gained during his life in The Alchemy of Happiness, a book that was written almost one thousand years ago, but still surprises and amazes with its simplicity and depth. He took a position that was trying to reconsolidate between a pure mystical and solely spiritual pursuit of happiness, and the more practical life oriented approach that requires active and scheduled worship. This is something I personally advocate, as I firmly believe that one cannot stand without the other. It can easily be observed that, if one only relies on the spiritual calling of one’s faith, then sooner or later, the person will become forgetful and sketchy in implementing the principles of his faith into his dealing with people, because life is complex and often distracting. In an attempt to clarify this complexity of life, Al-Ghazali introduces the reader to the main elements necessary for the metamorphosis that can turn an average person from a pure instinctual animal-like state into a being of purity and angelic inner beauty. He is illustrating how to become a better human being by following four principal enquiries: (1) the search of knowledge of the self; (2) the realization and knowledge of God; (3) the analysis and understanding of this world; and (4) the awareness and understanding of the hereafter.
It is of obvious importance to most philosophers that we need to learn about ourselves in order to achieve-ultimate- happiness. If we do not know who we are, and what controls and drives us as human beings, than we are unable to understand the world around us. Al-Ghazali not only offers us the means to analyze ourselves and others by defining categories of desires that threaten our goodness, but he also proposes concrete means and ways to betterment. He explains that the key to self knowledge is the heart, by which he does not mean the physical heart, but the heart that was given to us by our Creator and that will ultimately return to Him comparable to what Christians would call a soul. Losing ourselves in this world and its worldly affairs will not only cause us suffering and eventually damage this precious heart, but most importantly, it will result in denying our cosmic origin. This is especially dangerous to our selves because it is this divine heart, which we are all carrying, that is our source of the absolute awareness about who we are as the creation of God. In practical this awareness is important in many ways. It serves as our connection to ourselves and God, but also determines our dealing with others, as it teaches us to respect and consider all humans as equally carrying a divine nature. Al-Ghazali also teaches us that when our passions take over our lives, it is as if we had handed over 'an angel to the power of a dog'. But if we restrain ourselves and learn to discipline our mind in goodness, compassion and knowledge, we will be able to eliminate the mental and spiritual rust of our mind and shine it up to truly reflect the divine light we carry in our hearts. As a practical result, people who practice the lifestyle, he is recommending, will become more intuitive, and knowledge that otherwise would not have reached them will enter their minds because of the achieved awareness and the deeper connection to their divine origins. On a personal level, I can attest to these experiences of ideas, knowledge and informaiton that one is able to obtain in different stages of mind, and I encountered issues in my life that were resolved with unexpected ease as long as I kept a reasonable lifestyle and I practiced control over the desires that were trying to invade my mind during many stages of my life. Al- Ghazali reminds us that we are spiritual beings in a human body. If we forget about our connection to God and neglect our active worship, we are committing injustice towards our own selves. Our Creator appreciates our worship, and more importantly, he knows that it is good for us, but He does not waste away if we stop our practices, however, we might, as we need the connection to our origins in order to be a complete human being.
Al-Ghazali also reminds us that oftentimes a suffering, disease or disaster might reach us for other reasons then we might spontaneously assume. For example, while we will be looking for a reason and a cure when we have a medical problem, we might forget that this ailment might have been sent to us to draw us closer to our Creator and to give us a chance to start over with our life. How often did we change the direction of our life after a drastic crisis? In modern business philosophy and countless self-help books, people have commented on this issue many times, and the word crisis has almost become a synonym with opportunity. I believe this is what Al-Ghazali is referring to here, turning our crisis into an opportunity to better ourselves by strengthening the spiritual connection with our Origin, with our God. The author also reminds us that, if we are remembering God, we are remembering our own mortality as humans and our accountability for the deeds we commit in this life; he emphasizes that this knowledge serves us in a twofold way: it keeps our egos at bay and strengthens us in our struggle to become better and more compassionate human beings.
One of my favorite aspects in this part of the book is the notion that as humans, we find satisfaction in using our senses and faculties, just like anger rejoices in taking vengeance, the eyes delight in seeing beauty, and the ear in hearing music; our highest faculty as humans is to locate truth and as a result, we find enormous enjoyment and greatest amazement in finding the ultimate knowledge of ourselves and of God. Knowing just as much as I know today, granted me enormous peacefulness and strength in my life and I am constantly looking forward in gaining more insight and experience in this particular apprehension. I experienced that this is a struggle for life and that there is no sudden enlightenment, but a continuous work that needs to be done. Parts of it may become easier over time because we become accustomed to certain things once they enter our long term memory, and become our second nature. But even then, we have to be permanently attentive to ourselves and adjust when necessary, because it is also human nature to forget and neglect, when the outer world overwhelms us and takes possession of our attention and focus.
Following the chapters about the knowledge of ourselves and our Creator, Al-Ghazali moves on to the chapter about right dealings with other human beings. He introduces us to the subject by saying: "This earthly world is a caravansary on its journey to God, and all mankind is gathered as travel companions. As they all wander towards the same goal, and are all bound together in a caravan, they have to hold up peace and harmony, help each other, and respect each other’s rights." (Al-Ghazali) This simple comparison teaches us about how to treat and respect our fellow human beings. However, Al-Ghazali does not only advice us in how to deal with neighbors, relatives and fellow men in general, but soon directs our attention to the true and pure nature of friendship. He warns us to spend our time with friends that join us for worldly reasons or because they are hoping to benefit in one way or the other from our friendship and relation to them. While they have still certain rights on us as human beings, they should not be considered true friends. The true friend is the one that loves you for the sake of this friendship and for the sake of God, which means he has no ulterior motive for his affection, but the fact that God planted this love in his heart. It is the person, who would give up his or her own advantage for the sake of the friend, and it is the person who would risk his or her life to prevent the friend from harm or even committing an act of injustice. It is this true friend, we all hope for in life to have on our side, the one that thinks in our interest, and who has compassion and care to offer for us. It is the kind of person that permanently pushes us to be our best and whose greatest hope is that we are worthy in the eyes of our Creator. It is a selfless love that Al-Ghazali praises as an ideal, and he also explains our duties as a real true friend. He explains to the friends when they have to be silent, and when to talk, how far they have to go in sacrificing their wealth and possessions, and eventually even their lives, if the friend is in danger. He also speaks of the importance of forgiveness and intercession for the friend, as well as loyalty and truthfulness. These ideals are obviously hard to find in a person, and someone, with whom we can build a relationship like this, can be counted as a rare gem. But this is how real friendship should look like, and how we should try to live up to these ideals, when we decide to make someone our friend and call him by this name. It is true that many of our relations will not reach a mutual level of these values and ideas, but as a person of integrity, we should go by these principles and offer our truthfulness and loyalty to others, and approach them without having agendas or selecting them for friendship according to our needs and wants. If we treat people this way, we will find relations that will develop in real friendships that orientate themselves towards the noble values mentioned above. Overall, the pursuit of following these ideals tends to improve the relationships we have with all kinds of people, family, friends, employees, business partners and customers.
The Alchemy of Happiness easily offers further inspiration, as Al-Ghazali moves on to the chapter about human and divine love, where he beautifully explains the different level of love a human being is able to reach in his or her lifetime. He explains the nature of love and discloses that our ultimate happiness can be found in our love to God our Creator, a love that can become so strong of a bond that it will still provide happiness even in our darkest and most difficult moments. This love will fill our hearts so entirely that it can take us through hardships and crisis without being greatly affected by them. He compares the situation to a person who agrees to undergo a surgery, and despite the hurt, rejoices in the certainty, that this operation -even if painful- will bring him the benefit of a cure, just like calamity will purify us and grant us merit in the judgment of God, if we patiently deal with the test and take the right actions. As a matter of fact, I experienced many times, that the worst thing to do in a crisis is not to be patient. What are ultimately our options to deal with it? Giving up, or letting oneself drown in self-pity is not going to resolve any issue, but on the opposite, usually drives us deeper into the disaster. Trust and patience and a great deal of gratefulness however, can help us to keep up our optimism and our ability to take action, when action is required. Patience also keeps our minds clear and our senses sharp, so we are able to deal with new situations and make the best out of it.
The Alchemy of Happiness is a book that is written using many deep and beautiful allegories that are simple enough so almost everybody can understand their meanings. Al-Ghazali, even though he was a lifetime mystic, employs reason alone to prove the existence of God and the truth of religion. And even though he has been called 'The Proof of Islam', his writings could make a case for any religion. His greatest message is that, no matter what religion we might call your own, our greatest happiness derives from the knowledge that we are all creations of God and that therefore we have been made for a purpose. We obtain peace from the certitude that we are merely travelers in this foreign world, who will eventually return to an eternal paradise. These messages are so essential, because they put into perspective our efforts, our pursuit of righteousness, our goals and means and most importantly our hope.
To love you a second time! ( poem )
أحببتك ثانية
لم أكن أبداً ليدخل الحب قلبى و لكن عندما رأيت عيناك أحببتك
لقد دخل حبك فىؤادى وجرى كما يجرى نبض الحياة فى عروقى
فأنا من عشت فى مأمنُ من أن يدق الحبُ يومُ بابى
وأليوم أنظر على من هوى أمام باب ألعشق تائب
تمنيت أن يعشق الحب مرة ليذوق ذل العشق مرارةً
عندما رأت عينى جمالك و عندما سمعتأذناى صوتكِ هويت فى بئر حبك غارقاً.
صارخا هل من حلاوة حبك وعشقك غيرك بمنقذٍ؟
عذبينى بكل شئ أملكه عدا فؤادى فهوملككِ
يامن عجز كل كلامى عن وصف مافى قلبى
أليوم أعيش هذه ألحياة و قبلك كنت فانيا
لو كان عندى قلبان و حياتان لأخترت أن أحبك ثانية.
Love you two times
I was never the man who would fall in this kind of love, would be conquered by this kind of love
But when I saw your eyes my heart surrendered .
Your passion entered my heart and ran to my blood stream as the pulse of life runs into my blood vessels.
I lived and thought myself protected from any love to knock my door.
And today I see myself repenting, surrendering, and falling into your love .
I wished if the love itself could fall in your devotion once to feel the way I feel.
When my eyes spotted your beauty and heard your singing voice I helplessly drowned in the well of your love .
Is there no savior from your love and passion but you ?
You are the one whose love is indefinable
Today I live this life for you and before I met you my life was a waste.
If I have another heart and another life, I would chose to love you a second time!
لم أكن أبداً ليدخل الحب قلبى و لكن عندما رأيت عيناك أحببتك
لقد دخل حبك فىؤادى وجرى كما يجرى نبض الحياة فى عروقى
فأنا من عشت فى مأمنُ من أن يدق الحبُ يومُ بابى
وأليوم أنظر على من هوى أمام باب ألعشق تائب
تمنيت أن يعشق الحب مرة ليذوق ذل العشق مرارةً
عندما رأت عينى جمالك و عندما سمعتأذناى صوتكِ هويت فى بئر حبك غارقاً.
صارخا هل من حلاوة حبك وعشقك غيرك بمنقذٍ؟
عذبينى بكل شئ أملكه عدا فؤادى فهوملككِ
يامن عجز كل كلامى عن وصف مافى قلبى
أليوم أعيش هذه ألحياة و قبلك كنت فانيا
لو كان عندى قلبان و حياتان لأخترت أن أحبك ثانية.
Love you two times
I was never the man who would fall in this kind of love, would be conquered by this kind of love
But when I saw your eyes my heart surrendered .
Your passion entered my heart and ran to my blood stream as the pulse of life runs into my blood vessels.
I lived and thought myself protected from any love to knock my door.
And today I see myself repenting, surrendering, and falling into your love .
I wished if the love itself could fall in your devotion once to feel the way I feel.
When my eyes spotted your beauty and heard your singing voice I helplessly drowned in the well of your love .
Is there no savior from your love and passion but you ?
You are the one whose love is indefinable
Today I live this life for you and before I met you my life was a waste.
If I have another heart and another life, I would chose to love you a second time!
My dream job
Going back to study and finish my degree in a complete different field than what I have studied before has been a long time “dream in the making”.
I am a professional engineer, just like all the males in my family are. Besides this “family tradition”, I also proved early on to be particularly skilled in this field. This offered enough obvious reason to take this path.
Not that I am unhappy about it, but I think I am now again at a point where I am really looking forward to a new perspective, new opportunities and challenges. I am looking forward to moving something else than networks and wires and means of communications. I would like to move minds.
Mine first, of course – that’s how it all starts! But in the future I am hoping to be a teacher to others and to teach at an academic level.
I think it’s my love to share new ideas and my enthusiasm for speaking and teaching that drives me. It is also my ability to analyze and gain a deeper understanding for things, events and people.
About 10 years ago, I decided to start an addition to my engineering career. I opened a restaurant business, which was a new challenge in a completely unknown field to me. Of course, I was aware that I could always fall back on my engineering expertise, but I had made an investment –financially, personally and professionally - and I was eager to see it succeed. I put a lot of time, work and sweat in it to get it where I wanted it to be and maybe I should now be content and relax a little. But I don’t feel like this is the end.
I have been working in the food business for over 10 years now and I have to admit, that even though it proved to me that I am able to work with people of all kinds and paths of life, I ended up feeling sometimes that I am intellectually at a dead end. It seems to me that the usual folks who work in the food business generally lack education and often motivation. Let’s face it, for the majority that is sadly the reason why they are doing a kind of job that offers very little possibilities of promotion or development. As much as having a business is a daily challenge, I am missing an inspiring atmosphere, where new ideas and perspectives about significant issues are developed and shared.
Over the term of this experience , these thoughts manifested themselves over and over again and my decision to go for the degree and career path that brought me to the university in the first place got reinforced by the experiences and exchanges I had a chance to make here so far. It seems like I came here already quite determined and it seems that I am going to pursue what I came for in the first place.
Currently, I am working on getting things organized here at Belmont to the point that I will later be able to pursue my studies after the Master Degree in Business and Administration. Later on, I plan to aim at a PhD in Political Science or Economics.
Over the past weeks it became clearer to me that there are two dimensions to these decisions concerning my –hopefully- future career path:
First of all, it is the possibility to have a job that encourages a life of learning in an environment that fosters investigation, analysis and discovery of new information and knowledge. It also offers the opportunity to share and develop this knowledge with others, colleges and students. This dynamic meets my own desire to develop myself and to help others to develop. People take so much for granted without ever getting down to the essence of things. I would love to teach students to really learn how to analyze, think and draw conclusions on their own. Unfortunately, most people are intellectually passive; they are spectators rather than participants even in issues that affect their lives greatly.
This brings me to the second dimension: the fact that economy is the governing factor of our lives. It determines not only our financial independence but also sadly often our mental, psychological and spiritual freedom and offers or restrains the possibilities that these fields offer to our personal lives. Economy is at first sight the science of finance and money, but if you look at it closely it turns to be a science of people: their behavior, their spending, their needs, their desires…so many human traits are represented by this single word. However, the majority of people believe that they cannot understand or comprehend it, because they were let to believe over time, that it is a science that rises over their intellectual capacities. I believe that this is untrue for the greatest part. Economy is such a practical field, that it can be understood by many more than presently believe that they can – and I would like to make it one of my missions to give others more understanding about it in terms that they will be able to grasp the concepts and underlying mechanisms of it.
Further on, history has proven time and time again, that “money rules the world”. So economy by itself wouldn’t give you the complete picture why things happen in this world the way they are happening. If not paired with political insight, economy stays on a level of commerce without really revealing to us the true motivations of political decisions. Politics are made by countries to secure their interests –sadly often enough- above all other motivations. In order to understand the relations between monetary interests and political decisions on a national and international level, only political science can offer the tools and means of evaluation and analysis for the past and –most importantly- the future.
My own country Egypt has lived through an eventful (last) year that brought a lot of change and hope to many. It also created a lot of expectations and fears. But it proved –and that is surely reason for hope- that money doesn’t always rule and that people can change their destiny and the destiny of their communities and countries by standing together against what they perceive as deep injustice and treason towards them. When people are knowledgeable, encouraged, and brave, than great things can happen. And this is the part of political science that surpasses the “just material” part of life. I feel very inspired by these events that took place in the country I grew up in and I love. This inspiration carried me through the last year, sometimes wishing that I could do more than just publishing my thoughts and opinions in videos online to support the brave citizens of Egypt. It is also one of the factors that carried my decisions during these meaningful last weeks, when it became clear to me that my vision of a new career might become reality through entering Belmont and starting the first steps one at a time, class by class.
As much as possible, I tried to choose classes that foster my skills in communications and analysis. Those that I thought were most likely to encourage independent thought, tolerance and informed interest in current affairs, those which I thought will teach the mechanisms of defining a problem and contributing to its solution. This will surely be one of my criteria for the future choice of classes, as well as the imposed restrictions that I have to take into account in order to be able to continue with my Master degree afterwards.
At this point of my life, going back to school is a completely different experience than my first studies. Today, I have to consider, how to sustain my family while I am studying and I have to carry on with my responsibilities towards them, my business, and my employees.
At this age, the “puzzle of live”, the landscape, has changed a lot and so have the demands and expectations of the people around me. There are so many factors to consider that I never had to think about in my youth when the only responsibility I had was myself.
In the 1990’s, I started a telecommunication business early while still at college in Cairo (Egypt) and ran it during the following 5 years. I experienced a lot of stress and pressure related to the professional part of my life. However, I enjoyed the ups and -even the- downs much more with a carefree attitude than I would be able to do now.
I am a person who naturally takes on his responsibilities and is very serious about them. I cannot fail those who depend on me and I will almost do my upmost to meet my promises and what else I am required to do. Whenever I am –due to a situation not able to fulfill my promises, I will make it up to the person, because I feel that I cannot leave someone disappointed or discontent with me. I set the expectations towards myself high and I won’t be satisfied until I meet them.
As I went, I realized that communication is highly important in this phase of my life. On one hand, with my family: Because when time is of the matter, efficient communication is essential. Explaining myself and involving them in my planning has become even more important.
On the other hand, excellent communication skills are obviously also extremely important when dealing with my employees. As I am naturally less time around to supervise them now that I am studying, good communication habits are key. Being with them in the phone instead of being physically with them, facing the problem directly and on site often requires good analysis skills and precise answers from my side. They also have to feel that I am still with them –through my empathy, and I am still in control – through my decisions.
Often, employees will feel nervous or even overburdened when left with the responsibility of running the business in the absence of their employer. So it is important to have a sensible schedule to get into regular contact with them, even if they do not contact me. It is reassuring for them, when I check on them and I stay in contact, so they know they aren’t going to face difficult situations all by themselves.
However, my managerial style is still a goal oriented one. If you reach the desired result, than you did the job. Everyone is different and therefore does things differently. Quite often there is more than one way to do things right and I recognize that. I don’t like to determine every single step in a process. I will give the big outline and where I want things to go and how I intend to get them there. You need to be on the same page with me, than you know what is expected of you. I believe giving this kind of freedom to my employees fosters their sense of responsibility and creativity. I am still there to guide, if they get stuck, but I want them to try it on their own and their way first.
On the way I try to teach them alternative ways to get things done, so they can develop and design your own “best practices” over time. The more someone is successful the more I put trust in him or her and I am willing to add new responsibilities.
It is basically a healthy balance between the delegating, trusting and the controlling, guiding side of managing.
However, work ethics are absolutely essential for me and I strive for the most ethical behavior myself when I deal with my employees – and I will always expect the same from them. My restaurant is a place of business and nothing else. I expect professionalism paired with high personal standards. This is something I will let any newcomer know, before they even enter the kitchen. You can learn how to bake a pizza, but you cannot learn values, ethics, and proper behavior, if you don’t have them already!
Meaning, I am more than willing to teach you the technical part, but I expect you to know the meaning of manners, loyalty and respect for yourself and others.
Unfortunately, the field of food business seems to be the playground for a lot of peoples’ personal agendas and personal dramas. I am human and I can feel their difficulties and pain. However, I don’t believe that it is professional to bring these things to your work place. These things should be dealt with on a personal level –as that is the level they emerge from. They, most certainly, have nothing to do in the work relation with your employer or your co-workers. Unfortunately, this causes a lot of disturbance and stress in addition to the professional pressure and leads to the termination of many work relationships. This is sad, because as an employer and on a personal level I highly appreciate long-term work relations for their reliability and trust.
But in spite of disappointments and difficulties in my current business, job, studies and life, I learned that there is always ease after hardship. And without wanting to sound “over the top” here, I need to admit that seeing the struggle of some other students here at Belmont and the difficulties they face on a personal and professional level makes me appreciate my own situation much more.
It is humbling to know, that your own difficulties aren’t really as bad as they seem at times. I am aware that I struggle and that for a part because I challenge myself more than I would have to. But it makes me feel thankful to know that I do have choices and that I am not just forced to go with the flow because I am lacking other alternatives due to a certain situation. I struggle because of the choices I am making and not because of an external circumstantial power that forces things on me. I struggle to achieve my dreams and not to avoid failure. And this makes all the difference!
My dream job would be to teach as a political science and economics professor at an academic level in an inspiring and creative environment. I want to participate in developing curriculum, books and teaching materials as well as teaching classes. I am very passionate about sharing my knowledge and information with others and also would like to find time and opportunity to inform and encourage non academics to learn about these subjects.
Political scientists are social scientists who study government and politics. These are subjects that concern all of us at the end and therefore knowledge about it should be shared.
I also enjoy analyzing different areas of political behavior, international relationships, public opinion, including voting, taxation, and public administration and being knowledgeable in different forms of government that have existed throughout history, such as democracies, republics, and monarchies. I would like to be involved in the research of the examination of new ideas and theories behind political systems, examining the structure and operation of governments at all levels, and the effects that these governments have on the people who live under them.
I am also hopeful to be able to write down my insights for academic readers but also for a broader audience some time.
In short I want to be able to teach and share information but also to do the necessary research in my field and find opportunities to improve the world around me.
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Childhood dream
Childhood dream:
-Travelling the world and learn about other nations' languages and cultures
-Building wireless devices and electronic circuits. I was fascinated by this and studied on my own early on.
-Being a professor and teach at a university level
-
My goals of today:
Before I decided to go back to school, I used to work as a Telecommunication engineer in the GSM field for many years and even had my own business. But after all these years,I am now trying to change my career and do something different. I am about to graduate in August this year with an BS from Belmont and then I am only at the beginning of my road. I intend to pursue my studies and enrolled for an MBA here at Belmont or other university; the ultimate objective of this education is to make my PH-D afterwards and to teach internationally.
-Travelling the world and learn about other nations' languages and cultures
-Building wireless devices and electronic circuits. I was fascinated by this and studied on my own early on.
-Being a professor and teach at a university level
-
My goals of today:
Before I decided to go back to school, I used to work as a Telecommunication engineer in the GSM field for many years and even had my own business. But after all these years,I am now trying to change my career and do something different. I am about to graduate in August this year with an BS from Belmont and then I am only at the beginning of my road. I intend to pursue my studies and enrolled for an MBA here at Belmont or other university; the ultimate objective of this education is to make my PH-D afterwards and to teach internationally.
Scholarly past:
Key learning moments: Professional engineer, learning to understand media and politics by working for government…
BM: Philosophical differences between my own culture and Western view
These philosophical interpretations extend into field of science
Learning more detailed about Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism
Learning about learning culture in the West and having insight in the social dynamics to understand inequalities here,
Gaining knowledge of a culturally different society
Have been dealing with a variety of different social groups and people through business, learned about views and ideologies
Authorship: Believe that I had self authorship early in my life, but this is not a finalized process, therefore I keep learning and discovering. At BM I found out that: These differences lead to many misunderstandings and leave room for political games and abuse. Emphasis is usually on the differences not on similarities. Feel greater concern and responsibility, greater need to participate;Believe these misconceptions have to be cleared and people have to get to learn more about each other especially in a digital age these information are easily available and lies and deceptions are very hard to hold up. Politicians are discovering that political landscape and options have changed. Things that they did not have to take into consideration are key factors right now. Higher degree of self-awareness, self-observation and self-discipline when dealing with others in order to achieve desired results. Higher awareness when it comes to the complexity of issues.
Economical forces behind political decisions and strategies as driving factor and what are the synergies and conjunctions behind it.
My time at Belmont re-enforced my ideas that many misconceptions exist and that a lot of work still needs to be done in path of understanding and acceptance. The world is a divers place and should be. There should be room for diversity and people should be in a position today to have real un-tainted choices. Goal: Informing and educating people about these alternatives, they have to make the best out of it.
Assessment of now: leaving BM at the end of the year with BS, heading for a PHD in Economy or PS
Future goals: Teaching them to think for themselves and empowering them to stand up for their choices; Being involved in research about the new age of political landscape in the digital age; Writing about my thoughts and ideas to spread them, as an idea in your head is a prisoner, but once out it is there like a seed to grow and to prosper.
Key learning moments: Professional engineer, learning to understand media and politics by working for government…
BM: Philosophical differences between my own culture and Western view
These philosophical interpretations extend into field of science
Learning more detailed about Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, and Hinduism
Learning about learning culture in the West and having insight in the social dynamics to understand inequalities here,
Gaining knowledge of a culturally different society
Have been dealing with a variety of different social groups and people through business, learned about views and ideologies
Authorship: Believe that I had self authorship early in my life, but this is not a finalized process, therefore I keep learning and discovering. At BM I found out that: These differences lead to many misunderstandings and leave room for political games and abuse. Emphasis is usually on the differences not on similarities. Feel greater concern and responsibility, greater need to participate;Believe these misconceptions have to be cleared and people have to get to learn more about each other especially in a digital age these information are easily available and lies and deceptions are very hard to hold up. Politicians are discovering that political landscape and options have changed. Things that they did not have to take into consideration are key factors right now. Higher degree of self-awareness, self-observation and self-discipline when dealing with others in order to achieve desired results. Higher awareness when it comes to the complexity of issues.
Economical forces behind political decisions and strategies as driving factor and what are the synergies and conjunctions behind it.
My time at Belmont re-enforced my ideas that many misconceptions exist and that a lot of work still needs to be done in path of understanding and acceptance. The world is a divers place and should be. There should be room for diversity and people should be in a position today to have real un-tainted choices. Goal: Informing and educating people about these alternatives, they have to make the best out of it.
Assessment of now: leaving BM at the end of the year with BS, heading for a PHD in Economy or PS
Future goals: Teaching them to think for themselves and empowering them to stand up for their choices; Being involved in research about the new age of political landscape in the digital age; Writing about my thoughts and ideas to spread them, as an idea in your head is a prisoner, but once out it is there like a seed to grow and to prosper.
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